One Time in arrivals

the welcome mat 

I was met at the train station by two Missy's, one a daughter, one a dog! We originally were having a picnic at the local park .... only we had a slow puncture instead. A maiden voyage in the new classic mini. We had the picnic lunch inside. 

We later trotted off to Starbucks for the dog water and treats ... and of course the coffee. 

We did a little shopping for the forgotten wipes I usaully travel with for sticky dirty handles on life. Then it twas the settle in for a long evening, after a circuit dog walk. The choice of take away up to me. They knew I'd opt for a Indian. The most delicious rice, and flavours in the selected dishes to share followed soon after the choice in decision for the evening meal this night  ...

The welcome mat awaiting ahead of my intentions to turn in for the night ... the matriarch had the company and duties that go with this current dog sitting. It is only a matter of time for a permanent dog resident in this home, me thinks! 

Transition week

the travels in the wretched silly season 

The downside to a summer celebration. The fact the route on well busy train to the North.  In the meantime the time in limbo. One is making use of the time leisurely rather than frantic. A charity donation drop off on a murky Monday in July. A peek today to see the sweep and swoop when a daughter was here awhile in a charity shop for sale. All going to another home, making money for good rather than filling up the landfill. 

We have taken out just under half of a room in the time stood still foundations. This evoked a transfixed daughter to begin with. The task in hand helped by one not attached to the stuff. Anyone witnessing a hoard situation often realise how everyday life disappears and disintegrates. Though little is done. The care guided and easily bypass and pass the buck system. The if someone wishes to live like that syndrome and so forth. I have witnessed a lot of outsiders and how or how not to approach the career chosen in assisting the witness of what we can often never imagine in the 21st Century ...

The plan and organise to disperse logically that takes the required time. 

New North West trips in the offing ...

and time in looking at the skirted swim wear. I feel a little exposed when it was so natural to be in a area used to a lot of flesh. I am getting back there. The bikes, boats and pools on the horizon rather that improbable... 

A time too when a sister is seeking to continue her week with her friend starting sports activities, now that the Girl Guides have disbanded. They are planning some swimming sessions. They have already tried bowls of the sedate kind!!! 

I might get to play bowls of the kind that I have not seen in a lifetime, it feels. How odd is everything...

I still find it different to see a brown shade on my exposed skin to the elements. A colour not seen awhile until more recent times. A fact not lost on my Mum. I am looking better each passing visit ...

I have options of choice in a time with daughter again. The pace in keeping with my perpetual tiredness in all the overwhelming scale in removing the excesses all round. 

Coastal Views, Rock Pools, Windmills, Oast

houses, hops and a requisite visit to the once very local local lavender fields, just in time time before the soon to be harvest time. A short burst in the locality tourist style. The road trips first in our own back yard. The first for us with the newly qualified drivers after experiencing roads elsewhere. The knowledge to the Northerner now in our family how which junctions that are best avoided in the grid locked M25 sections. 

The beauty and stunning views of the garden of England county in bounty. We travelled from the inland venues to the white cliff coasts of the South East part of the coast. The Channel tunnel signs a once familiar feature along with the local interchange starting point of this particular road trip first. The breakwaters, piers, promenades and the sight on the shipping lanes on the horizon, a feature not so much of on the better known coast to those spoilt with the Cornish Rivera of childhood summers opposite to where we lived on the estuary of the North Cornwall coast. 

A beach on the south east side our Dad introduced to us from his own childhood favourites... He moved around this country up to fourteen times, a new school each year ... Cornwall remained the best to live .... we settled as a family here from the paternal family travels  ... they got to live in some stunning areas in this time, sadly during the war years and the ration ones too. Though this created some well told family tales of the soldiers on the coast, when the three older siblings snuck out at night. 

We enjoyed fresh farm produce from the fields and the farm shops. And even on the coast. The best fish and chips sourced from local produce too ever, which was a well versed wish to have this particular meal once again on the seafront. The time away from what was once so for granted, made that so! 

We planned this particular stretch from the fragmentation of memories of past traditions which we intermixed with our new ones in this current time. It was difficult to select one particular area. We headed initially for a sandy beach. We ended up going on round to the next bay though with pebbles underfoot, had cleaner waters to enjoy ... 

Trepidation travel

still. The tube train was a testing time without the having the wits about of much out of my control as well ... with no where to escape ... The regular tannoy announcement travelling by public transport, usually trains and the coach station of keeping with your belongings and reporting anything suspicious. I have often looked after or out for lone strangers foreign and domestic belongings while they have a pee! 

I will be travelling by train in the summer, yet again. The route regular now to the NorthWest ... or the South West ...  I wonder if the seen to be patrolling of trains by uniformed personnel will be part of the norm now too along with the tannoy warnings? 

The preps for a long weekend in the coming summer now in commencement. The pull back on the many experiences that I have been reacquainting with for a while. I am coming to terms with much all at once. There is room to change my mind when I feel it all could get too much ... I do have some time with a daughter in pastures new, that we were meant to have done years ago. We are now going to an area we have often said we can to now, in the coming season end to another in the planning ... 

We shall see how it all pans out ... 

It is extremely tiring adjusting back to life, instead of just giving up. A lot of atmospherics in play at the minute. The intermix of emotions, especially the evolutionary reactions to mental health or just being different! 

♥ Top of the Lake District under Hadrian wall ... the plans made for catch up in this area .... with this in mind me keeps my Late Dads little walking map book of the area; back when we cleared some of his files etc .. the more positive side of my experiences in hoard ... 

A place

the buddies my daughter works alongside and I assisted with last year suggested to visit 

In Shropshire 

An Amazing

experience over time in a journey back on the coach. It no longer stops in the town needed currently. The cycle route works turning a town near to it, upside down awhile. The coaches and buses taken many different diversions 

A few  road traffic accidents delayed us awhile, on approaching the town at the allotted time.  One now disembarks to catch a connecting bus, which fortunately was running late. I just managed to catch this connection . At this bus stop was a medic tending to someone here. 

The array of vehicles on a journey, yachts travelling wide berth on the roads. The holiday makers, the military. Car transporters. One is witnessing much in watching the world go by from a coach window. 

With the diversion into this town, it took us up on hills not seen in widowhood. The time of this coach different to the norm. This benefited the new experiences of leaving a different bay at London Victoria and leaving early to arrive into the county of Cornwall still in daylight 

Vivid bright daylight exposed the breathtaking taking views in much glory, usually seen at dusk into dark in another sense, the roads so familiar I know where we are from the curve of the bendy roads in this darkness  ... 

The family archives

exchanged last evening (Monday). The time to dig out a rare photo  still here after the en masse clearance after a tragedy ...

My maternal grandparents in the 1920s ... we may never know our grandparents without crinkles unless the generations mate early on early or good youthful genes ... my Mum had me a week after the celebration of her 21st as it was then ... my grandparents had the Twins (mum) in her 30s ... 

The kid had some insight into the photos and memories kept from others not seen. That happens either if you are not interested or in our case too much that items were destroyed or lost in a clearance

We had a fascinating evening from afar. She had more things given for her Daddy Memory book which was suggested by those down there, with so much going in the loss enmasse ... at that time back in the recent past now ... 

I suppose I

better start thinking about where I will be installed ... this always the tricky part to get out to do what once I did ... as second nature.... 

At least my daughter is safely installed with a God mother ... the matriarch who gels the clan from far and wide including the skeletons in the cupboards ... our paternal Grandmother constantly bearing a child from the late 1920s to the 1940s and running a bed and breakfast with this young brood along with the older ones A legendary cook and the first born out of wedlock, considered much different back then ... We did not know much until later years of a lot until even last year when my Mum told me some more pieces of hushed up titbits ... which I cannot disclose considering it would be hurtful to those still alive ... 

A post op recovery, a journey

start, funeral preps for another young family at the place where my in laws worshipped. A young husband and father promoted to glory while at work. 

The very essence of a trail where I have started in electronic form. The settings so many fail on setting up accounts. We have a few in the family who put us in the right direction of security controls on all social media and more .... 

The flip of social and business on the onset of a death. The initial death defining emails through to my care to the evolving way it will be in transcending into the next phases. The archive, delete, the chronology of things still to decide on which way forward in spreading the failings on the learnings ... 

A story, a film, a paper, a book, a law change, a petition, a not for profit, a charity, a knit and chat, so many facets subtle or just reside back where I grew and do what I do again ... with the inspiring scenery so many I know do already in the artistry or craft ... the artists, the potters, the shop keepers, the window designers, and many small businesses, authors and so on ... 

Preps

for adjusting to some major changes in minor steps, almightily thankful my nagging pain aches are healing after six weeks ... from all conventional and alternate ways ... 

The seagulls

the sun and a death announcement of someone in the modern way, notifying being Promoted to Glory, he that leaves behind a Mum and Dad,  a wife and a young family ... 

This sun more spring like in light. A sister who hardly slept last night after the hand op yesterday. The fresh throb after the area comes around initially... 

The way she told of her floppy arm just like the scene from Harry Potter. Yes I have expericed my legs not doing anything. My mind still telling me to move from the operating table to assist those moving me. All a surreal experience ... 

My travels take me later in a week. I have gentle tasks each day, aiding the rest restorative this week last. The ease of all round.. I am back on the coach. I find it less stressful than train. I had a deal I used after my £5 city to city coach journey to attend a Diamond Wedding Anniversary and join in a road trip down to Kernow. There are many trips one could do in a day for a fiver each way ... plus a oyster journey ...  etc etc etc Or a stop over at a city lodge or inn in budget deals ... 

I have a way to go ... to go beyond my cycle of current journeys. I am still recovering from two new journeys to familiar towns not travelled awhile ... Sourhampton and the Bristol area ... 

April Fool

an unexpected early operation, the planned trips for April now flourishing with the countdown from others in anticipation of time together. The various parts of the West Country where we will spend time with those also widowed ... 

My daughter will be with those who live in one estuary area. I will be further down on, and in another estuary area getting lungs full of coastal air to enjoy ... 

The jostle on the transport will be telling on the tender parts, still recovering from a pesky bug. 

The sign off of all the documentation to do just a tad in an environment alien, but similar to the past so long away from it all ... The readjustment and realignment in where was I in all of that part of life too ! Where it is such a disdainful time to back to where life stood among before the rocky path it took me upon and off the trail  ... 

Into the April of

a daughter's original plans where we recently had a road trip of the first kind with her in the driving seat ... we never thought I would be on that very first journey ... before the planned one to the same destination ...this coming month ... 

...Just as I happened to be around in person on the day of her passing her driving test ... where she now resides ... it seems pre determined which is not lost on our daughter ... 

Plans afoot ...

... for time with kin... the jest and quips on being put through my paces ... for now the peace reigns in the inner turmoils ... until I'm spooked at the most inopportune milliseconds ... 

The not listening

or lazy lax bother ... the kin alike of a daughter and a sister ... who again ask 'what are the dates?'  ... The source of me to search. my already sent details ... The preps South Westerly this time ... and again a bit further down ... 

And in the meantime the Rediscover this day photos of the time in the days leading up of this time with the images of last year in that area ... a reminder of the memories now more fascinating again ...

And one photo of a building site now, not a field with views ... the continual weave of change ... 

The take off ...

the fight or flight mode on a return to the ramshackle space .... The pure ironies in much. However, I am still resisting the urge for a bit of a Greek time of it ... the flight to boil (along with the ills of confusions that comes in times) or freeze burn ... and glad a part of my mind feels free to say what is in part going on with it ... even whether the thought that I am talking about it means to others more a cry for help than actually ... do I want to feel this *******for the rest of my days and will it ever cease in ease or vice versa ... ? 

That happened many a time cos I am not a conventional being in the training of such or using logic ... outside of the training box ...

Absolutely no one can even understand what happened in those darkest times that led to so much beyond death ... in my own circle it has not happened on that scale ... 

And then in the next time the panick in is it happening to me, like it did me hubby, albeit in a different set of personal to me recent bad dose of an infection on the airways ... and something still so bothersome I took my own logical advice to rest up then go to the docs ... after the jostling in getting home yesterday... 

Finally the feet are

settled in the abode ... not wrot much while away ... the deep stirrings of anger never far away ... a simple solution averted again... the muster in resourceful strength and making plans through other doors ... 

Home James ...

... a swift removal in business mode to work through the cumbersome mountain of others and the traits marked on me ... and before I have even taken off the fooot wear ... 

Here we go go with those that don't heed or under

A trip to the docs to see what wrong with why I have a pain ... working through the strong threshold of misdiagnosed and mis understanding 

Early arrival at ...

... Euston and down deep into the underground, sparse in people for once. A mid week trip back across train country ... now awaiting departure at London Victoria.... a space for luggage and a seat for once ... ! 

The plans now

fully underway to book a cottage on a beach for the time making up I am ready to attempt a start to explore new places with support of me tagging along in a family group again ... 

The pick up where we left off. The travel on without a loving husband in what we would have done anyways ... 

The winds blow South

Easterly to the forgotten, fruitless task of disintegration... 

For now a coo of a wood pigeon ... a sunny day bright. The thankless task of rattling round life back ... the zillion ant-like activity on this planet here ... one tiny grain of life ... 

Toilets ... compact home

and the body mass to fit ... the suddenness out of the corner of visions. Plans past present and presuming to come ... a day of all including in stitches, in rage and in tears ... 

A special time in

Mums Day stroke Thanks surprise today ... which was a luxury ... now for the wind up of another special day with plans to rent a cottage to a new place for all of us !

The snub of a

... hamster for leaving him a while  ... and for me finally getting back to bed ... the arrivals back home from a rather wet end to a Spanish time, later than forecasted,  The wooden hill of twelve steps .... Twelve steps more than I have for none. 

And a repition of these stairs tonight, for I gas already retired to bed, once. I will be to my own devices now until the evening meal. The ships that did not pass one night! 

Up to thy

elbows in the cooking dust of baking ... goodies to be eaten by the returning travellers landing back in England this evening ... 

A shortened holiday from the original ... 

A satisfactory afternoon time a tad in a kitchen baking in the North West of England ... A cooking session if filmed would show the true nature of time. The pan of boiling water nearly dropped... The oven gloves still too new in stiff for the older hands ... a sloppier time than shown on TV ... 

Reflective Restoration

out of situ. A time to just get on with looking out for a hamster ... my first ever ... my family not one for caged animals ... we had dogs .. although a period of time without one, when one we saw killed on a treacherous road, in front of us for not obeying Mums commands ... this when we lived in s village ... it is now bypassed the emmets missing the village ... the bus still runs through it ... a photo posted a while back now .. 

We were taken to neighbours that tragic day, which Mum still hears from to this day ... she must be in her nineties now .., 

Would it not

be good if humans only had what a hamster had even in a three tier lift ... I could move tomorrow !!!! 

A home clean

for a hamster ... he moved into a three tier loft space prior to my arriving ... more housework to do!

The ocean in wrong ....

tis completely opposite ... Spain is not on the Atlantic... however across the channel and on the Meditterrian ... 

Our daughter spending the weekend in a different part of Spain for the first time .... skyscrapers mountains and coastal scenes as views ... the diverse coastal regions of settlements built for the tourist industry .... 

A glorious sky blue

day only I am stuck inside knackered ... The events finally catching up. A duvet type day. 

Dramatic skies

amore ... photos crossing the Atlantic presently ... the clouds from above and a Spain sunset ... the ones I send from here ... the dawn of day in a Cheshire town ... 

The occupy in

some aims set ... the rest from the travels and being under the weather gets so much. I feel back at peace a tad. I have finished bedding in and now ready for some evenings entertainment... after the days in pottering. 

I will be seeking for some more restorative nights. I will then see whether I am strong enough to do the original explore local ....here !? 

Deep Heat, Pain Killers,

many nose bleeds, a funeral and a Bon voyage later ... I am now back on me tod !

In among others belongings and decor. I have settled myself in. I hope to further the baking skills while I am here. I have a meal and shopping plan for the next few days. I am staying local for now. I adjusted the schedule after a very bad bug made me hurt myself.

And I had a bang on the head. The items on the floor more than the counter. The grit and determination sets in to achieve ... 

One birthday One Funeral

and many people later .... back to some time to conclude the plans in a railway town ... the Bon voyage and some valued time in respite ... with myself and I ...

The morrow in settling in and washing Dads dressing gown my daughter had, to snuggle into of an evening here ... the start of tasks to rest up a bit after these last few days of travel weary journeys once again ... 

New Noises ...

and environment... the swish swish of cars along a road ... in another county again... not been too good, a time in need of restoration to recover from this latest attempt at a journey, my sister knows of in bundles ... 

Back to the South West

after a breakfast at The Gaffers Row ... a very bad night ... dosed myself up with the necessary medication and silently grunting the way through the fog of much ... 

The conclusion of the

Segment of life ... a complete and utter waste of my time again ... I will not be giving  any stars to the mental health service ... a load of toss. 

They can get get away with turning it back on the patients ... at least I was understood at my last meeting at another agency I had to attend on my own ... having no one to escort me from the family or the other with not being reassigned a CC again ... 

They just flirt in front of patients among themselves while you stand waiting. They are either that or busy multitasking on phones, answering door buzzers other than you say standing there ... 

The stained carpet not changed in years from the popular leaks in buildings ... and again a floor at the other agency had a deep stain ... 

No wonder no one thought our place needed cleaning up by the initial contact person for hubby ... 

Be Prepared

... the days long from a Brownie. The guiding movement motto.

All the goodies in case in the middle of nowhere like medication and refreshments ... on a road journey or public transport. Although on a train with the restaurant carriage they dole out free refreshments when stuck on a carriage an unnecessarily long time. 

We are packing up today. I will be using my portable packable rucksack for the overnight stay. I always pack this to use for shopping and picnics at my destination.  Even though I am in a car ... the bare minimum will still be taken ... 

Very much rested

in a tad of time. The meals done the last two days for me. The soup lunch yesterday I just had to heat up, while they were at work. They are both now on leave. 

The perpetual puzzle of putting back a life, on hold a while. 

I am just enjoying life at whim and a little in plan. A day today changed from saying Bon Voyage to the two of them to a shared road trip approaching for a funeral. 

A day where it will be shared in chilling out, getting ready, and I will wander off to explore, no doubt ... 

I have already been up a while ... making the most of this different time ... 

A long meander ...

... the hourly chimes ... the hope to have a late morning shower, this after a rest up in preparation for a walk out ...

I had breakfast with the young ones before they set off for work. It is for me and myself to do what is pleasing,

A few household tips and just the functions on this particular trip. This time it is expected for a chill and an adventure in explore. Though the trip to Spain tomorrow for them postponed until Tues ... a trip to the West Country to pay our respects to a Uncle ... I had planned to do a day trip to Wales. With that and being a little worse for wear, the explore nearer here with walks with the requisite public transport links in consideration ...

Or just locality trips out and crafting ... there is plenty to search online for interests ...local 

Chimes of Elevem

A day end exposed to the outside world of others in environments still not completely au fait with. A close of a day of much on the senses, the bewildering array of social antics and trying to understand how not understood but understood even in a busy city hub 

Settling in

after I was picked me up from the end of of a speedy train journey, dropped off to a home for a while, made me a brew, then they disappeared on to work ... 

I am now sat on me bot. I am watching the very inevitable wine making in England featuring the vine yard I have taken much interest in on the Camel valley ... hand in hand in the Kernow Estuary we know so well ... 

The conflicts of alcohol well known within the inner circle .... very sensitive to my known factions 

The experience of

leaving more in ease one way. The walk out the door and not a clamber. 

The deep breathe to deal with what already came upon on a train journey taken so far  And needing your wits about you. The men not courteous today ...  barging past, getting in the middle of me and the luggage. 

How did I do London once the speed of rush, rush, rush, 

The escalator down from Euston not working ... next Monday the toilet facilities closed at Euston for a revamp. And the train services terminating at Runcorn. A bus service to Liverpool Lime Street. The repairs in process to restore a collapsed tunnel collapsed ... 

At least I booked in advance a seat I liked ... you get to know how to do this. It is very pleasant looking out on a world of wonder in canals and the barge homes. The green, green landscape synonymous withEngland in the U.K. 

And the speed and tilt of the Pandolino trains is wobbling the keyboard or my hand I should say! I still can't believe the few more miles speed on trains these days on some routes ... 

It is still antiquated from London Paddington to Kernow .. but not this one to the North ..  

An arrest ...

and search while awaiting transportation for this person at a station while I await the train ... a really busy Thursday am in commuter land 

From amany abundantly

amount of new born chicks born, then left abandoned to the baby bunnies images all soft and downy ... The rainy day today belies spring is about ... 

The question oft of how we start off in the evolutionary cycle where many want to nurture and cuddle us at the start of our life... but not always so at the end if we get to the decrepit stage ... 

....and a lot in between ... ! 

And like the beautiful abandoned chicks ... lack of empathy for profit over nurture in the food chain .... 

The banner today on the Facebook profile ...Autism speaks different.... not less ... just one example how complex this nurture capability is in the scheme of life ... 

A myriad of thoughts in brief .... this day .... 

The food waste

beyond ones control ...

The little and often times this happens. A lot give no thought to this. After not having things a while, for us it is different. I had to repurchase to a little of what I fancied. And now with the rearrangement of much this week, I am finally in the usual, usual countdown mode. Including the waste in food when you are ill and can't be bothered to divide things up where purchases are hard for one, etc. 

For me it is always ahead of a usual schedule ... my thoughts very much in the way. The accounting for this in the wind down of time from one place to another ... and the heap of food and drinks out of alignment this time round ... 

The clearing out of the groceries that deteriorate quickly if left not in use ... not in the usual usability turnaround of late .... I am finally re-establishing   .... 

Remembering a

time where things were different, then different and now completely different again, though getting on with the journeys planned. In all realms. The critical, the anger tinge in a day full of blessings. 

The movies of classics that are very enjoyable to watch as one is pleased to. The reading I have managed to do, of high interest to my own circumstances.....

....  How widows are treated in times gone and other cultures! This makes for a more appealing time that I have, than the way others treat this status in such contempt. 

Conclusion on

how, what, where a funeral will be ... and the preps of food wishes whilst I sit in another home awhile ... with Nemo for company ... 

I will find the hamster ball hilarious. I only hope I don't lose the boy when transferring, being the dwarf variety ... they are quick! 

North, south and west

all in preparation for the coming together of the clans ...The kiddie starting her hols a tad later. I am still heading North via tube and train 

We then take a road trip back down and across from this ... The zig zag path of roads, rail new on old and new, new ... 

I packed up a while ago. The germs taken hold and a schedule busy. The necessity in emotional times I now have to manage with plenty of space in time ... 

50 50 fibre

in bread refine ... a pot roast to entice the stuttering mood in this countdown phase most would enjoy for a break away ... 

The anxious in the anxuios. The mindfulness not set, yet. The sun is beaming outside, the ice in iclecles of this particular heart not yet melted from the rage within. Wobbly is not explainable enough ... The avalanche of a riveting experience that brings much tension in excitement of change with past currents riding the present ... with a scattering of post bug ills sprinkled for bad measure ... 

Imagine going to a place

unnecessary for  the best part of a day ... when there is a place nearer home. It does not make sense for those that really need assistance... for the few who fake it ... The test within the test ... the pattern of behaviour from the reverse vantage point in a life of a personality change related to trauma ... 

Made in Memory ...

Time afoot

to organise myself... that is a laugh ... for the return of juggles in jostling with routines. The time to expose to environmental changes that challenge me somewhat ... it is like today, I may notice the sunshine ... today I am not bothered. 

However I need to gear meself up for the process of a lot of travel from A to B ... starting again next week. I cannot be lost in the past. I require to be in the present. 

A present disjointed abruptly in slow actions of others ... 

Casting a shadow

though I am to step out wide again ... I am at my whim. The quandaries disruption... The knowledge only someone will do sonetimg if they like! I will do whether I like .... 

Nostalgia in plans

though many anew in these times. The path well trodden to not. How unbelievably these times are missing, but not. The awash of ideas. The next timeline in the drudge. The continuing 'Hey up, me duck' now imprinted from time anew in the North of England. And soon to be reacquainted plans to rid this home of much, in the restart of others again ... 

The path never really travelled alone... the buoyant heed of kin keeping me afloat afar in near ... 

Palm Trees

... Harbours .... Dunes and work on the doom bar at the very start of this year current .... in the north Coast of Kernow

Coffee houses, tea rooms around the counties ... now for some further aims besides these ... the peaks of Bodmin moor of Rough Tor and Brown Willy. The coastline line of Tintagel and Boscastle. I have not been to Boscastle since it was awash on the news. This will have changed the landscape ... from those roof top rescues that time. 

St Nectars glen ... And waterfalls in Devon and Wales too are beckoning ....

The only trouble my sister is more of a retail queen, than a brisk walk on the coast in cold times ... and warm times ... 

I must not do a disservice. The banter we have. And the fact she has briefly awaited in the cold before trotting back to the car to give me time in reawakening my time in our area ... at Godrevy, Daymer, Padstow, Penzance, Truro and much more ... 

The tuck up in semi hibernation ...

... to swiftly heal.

The photo of my sisters fingers all stitched, with the dressing now off. The passive exercises, reminding me of my thumb injury after a fracture, stitches and the nail removed . The nail bed now slightly odd looking under the new nail growth ...  I was warned of this. Only on closer inspection though .... 

That was an amazing experience in recovery. The help when I first travelled home on the bus with the initial, over the top blantantly obvious dressing securing my thumb,  until the op the next day. This being at the best referring hospital, the doctor said they would want to repair it, if it was them. I heeded the advice even though the panic more of getting there, than the throbbing of this injury. That first journey to another county from here. A cousin who supported me in this, travelled with me and sat in while I had the procedure. 

After this surgery to repair it, a talking point my sister had these last few weeks of being in the wars.

And then when the dressing came off ... It looked like a certain part of the male anatomy, it was cumbersome to use initially, the silent stares when using my hand in public when noticed by observant or derogatory looks. The nail plays an important part in the use of a thumb. 

It was insignificant, to what some face on a daily basis like my daughter's boyfriend... with abuse and much more at times in ignorance of his slightly different alignment facially ... when he is out of his locality... 

The surreal in ...

... the still of the night ...

the recent road trips and last summer in a daughter's car and a sister's... many different drivers, many different forms of travel. The styles of trains. And all the new roads travelled. The time away shut inside while roads and buildings continued on. While life and death, the move of time, too.

The first glimpse of so much on the senses ... even a road in Kernow I had not yet travelled on .... An area of the Eden project and the slag heaps so familiar here, the road view so different for it is the now familiar new links road lanes to ease traffic fast from A-B that are here now. As are the solar panels and wind turbines. The eerie style of the modern windmill. 

The upbeat

on how lovely the coastal views look. The darker side and ambiance is there.

A walk with my sister some time ago of going along a lane, looking dark and dank. The trees stopped the light and it was all dark amd mossy. I saw the darkness, not the lush green. 

And the deep dark and mysterious water at a recent harbour. What lurks beneath. The muddy banks when the tide is out where the wet sand is brown not the luminous qualities of my usual stunning quality creative speak ...

The sunset over the waters shimmering along the darkness of pools of deep dark hues. The cramped buildings darkening the shadows I have commented on. The quantity of strange in familiar too. 

... One looks at the bright side literally ... 

Those days first of travel, alongside that empty space was so cold ... and the little love left in me from the momentum of bombardment is what sees the warmth not the cool ... The smiles even when those scowl at me when they are in a bad frame of mind. The care less than before attitude of a mischievous one, once again let loose out in the world to keep on exploring ... 

The coastal air

in return to stale air still lurking in the recesses. The day I can clean around my home throughly will not be too soon ...

Travels

remind me how lovely being home with a brew ... and making a traditional stew ...

I have been enjoying the bounties of hard work in the rooms in thy abode.

I have plans in the bedroom this evening. I have been busy in the kitchen. I have been kicking out and  all that, but also summoned the strength to spend time getting organised functions bit by bit. I can see little glimpses now of me again in all aspects today 

The snow flutter hastens the spirit of those still around us now the body is no longer there... snow was very much a feature in the first goodbyes, that particularly season of loss.Yesterday flurries would have seen the pleasure one had in those eyes no longer seen ... 

... though very much

... with me the experience of life much from year end ... the colour and scents still imprinted in my being. It washes away those moments of angst. The pleasure of doing things with just Mum and Myself, the silence in that time swift in repair. 

A distant memory

now with hitting the ground at a walk ... The several different alterations in habits. The start of nearly three years to battle through of adjusting the continuing energy levels. The space to get the air circulation in better stead. 

I certainly had unlimited spacious air for a while. And feeling a lot in that. 

And the next step pleasing again today; on the haul back in place a bit on the brighter side of life ...

A very interesting period yet again to appear ... ? 

The adjustment

of space and ways ... I find the transition still bothersome. This time though the ideas in thought to action. And all that I did prior to the more recent time ... looks good ... well amazing actually. 

It is just the irritating irritations, in the simplest function in not having the all surround in harmony yet ... and missing all things no longer here ... 

A task set for January in achieving some small way back to a home; for some of the burden of mess accumulation that stops this currently ... 

The ease back in ...

and the aims to attain in decisions to put forth ... the next trips to the North and South already in the pipeline ... I am intrigued as to where I be then ... 

The rest

after in the arrival back cold, delayed and diverted ...

We were all huddled one severe frosted marooning, morning in the railway stations waiting room at the start of a journey with changes. The inkling of the frost in slow signals, through the counties back. The antiquated train system not really moved with the times. I was at that point, down in the further reaches from the cities.

... That aspect to get used to again ... 

And of course the difference in other countries, making me realise we are not really that antiquated... 

After delays and diversions

setting back into here again ...with delightful news on the doorstep to greet me for a change, once again ... The arrival helped to have future news to look to to get out of a situation in such an environment not many comprehend ... 

A white start to the

journey via Bodmin Hospital ...an MRSA appointment for upcoming op for sister ... after this, I was dropped off at the station early ... on the way to her work ... brrrr...

The bitter tinge

but handy to see in the memoirs. The reminders in the blur. The magnificent outstanding views of a place well know to us. The hordes of boats and people in Padstow. The ice cream on sale. The Cornish pasties. The end trail of school holidays. It is the first time too, I have seen so many dogs in one place... post crisis ...

The drawing

in the close of a time in gaining life again. The experience of a month last embedded to chase away the January blues and the worse Monday of the year for depressive tendencies... 

A duo of

pleasant banter, in being sharp in family jokes days. The tidy down of life with others. The thank you flowers purchased. The festive greets and thanks done. The winter walks. The special times being together. 

The wanders of moods noticed. The growls aplenty. The laughs too. The forms seen of life struggles to deal with. The challenges in functions only a few actually understand if at all. And not the need to know ones either. 

The readiness in another transition from here to there to here ...