Thy busman style

day ... on New Year's Eve eve ... a bit of housework and some mind boggle trigger form filling... then some headspace to clear thy mind and to get in the shopping for Mum ... 

The light fade of day briginging on the Christmas lights in town  ... the sarcastic tones and banter in ignorance at the cash desks ... the grumpy Cornish ways ... it totally went over my head ... the usual giggles not always got ... the legal high on me meds for depression... 

The jigsaw puzzle of packing to come with the new things accumulated from gift giving ... 

Looking to

a tad of rest on achieving much this month last. Then back to the tackle of emotions a clearance of life forthwith. The pace gentle to recoup and rejoice in life put back. The sensations of experience new, new old and old new. The vividness of seeing a live performance on stage which happened to be a glitter sparkle panto which used to go over my head with the ridiculous array of spin. 

The tipsy turbulent world of emotions too in what I now appreciate in everyday. And what I do not waste time on .. The complex array of more than grief. The relief in burdens no longer there. And how in everyday conversations that go over my head. The silent ... it doesn't matter. When people  attempt to assist what to them they think will help when actually it is not a normal normal experience I lived...

And those who whinge what to them is different in their life ... when they can at least function in the basic needs of existence 

In reverse a walk out

...to the top of town ...which you can see from the skylight here ....

A view from a skylight window in one of the towns roof 

The exhaustive ...

and abundance of experience this festive month. The brilliance in colour sparkles and glittering light of the panto and Christmas German market. The warmth of new people embracing thy painstaking novice leadership where many sought assistance. The leaning in for comfort. The acceptance of this new person who so happened to be Mum of a buddy. My gift of time in give. 

A treasure trove of experience in droves. The conversations many, varied and more of it. The step back in a county reuniting with family. The stayover of a sleepover. The many and varied huggable dogs. Leila and Vader the kittens who snuck in daughter's home from the neighbors at any given opportunity. 

The candle making. The kitchen crafts. The winter walks. The winter travel. The dramatic scenery. The A30 coming down into Kernow for the first time too, post crisis, of not travelling over the River Tamar, but passing nearer to Rough Tor and Brown Willy than ever before. The same distant moors on the horizon of a Cornish landscape within the same eyeful one sees the Atlantic Ocean in parts ... that one also sees in the mists of time here on each journey whilst when in these reuniting visits to the area. 

Breathtakingly amaaazing 

Time in change

... and the achieve in what one set out to try! It has thrown up a lot of delightful moments. The act of give in moments impacted a lot on inspiring what can be done. 

There are times when I have not missed much; when the dark vile veil falls for a tad. 

The time pass in much new old again experiences one had again, all the time the wait of the many and varied documentation., to get to the next stage of action. 

The emotional range in this time from amazement to quandaries onto zealous ... 

... Boxing Day beauty ...

... in a well liked corner in thy world ...

A sister

who loves her organisational stationery ... treated her to a certain clipbook which is easy to open and soft for her hands a struggle... 

I invested in one too; the tactile feel from the pixels since ... 

I replaced my Filofax in the early days only not used it yet?! 

Seasons Greetings

from here, this year!

The journey here fraught in tandem and now enjoying the time alone in much beyond the thoughts into starts  

Absorbed in

Cornish life ... the much needed brisk coastal air. The trauma subsides into a rested mode. Those closest see the difference. 

I still have dilemmas. I stilll have flashes. I still feel irritated. I still silently rage. I do find being outside strange to the senses. I do however feel more at peace surrounded by less packaging.The hub bub of tourists instead of commuters is so different. The Walks more refreshing at ease. The fact I am more likely to cycle and get involved with functions of life. 

The fact I will see what where and how I'd be a long way off before I shift the burden elsewhere to be completely free in spirit as I like. 

And some of those who still do not get the recupersusions and ripples and not get my circumstances and new needs ...

A Jack knife

we saw the aftermath of yesterday. The lorries cabin tucked up in a hilly hedge. Everything at an awkward angle. The police still in attendance and the photos taken of the incident for all the red tape this entails for who, what and why ! 

Camelford ...

..along the A30 passing by Roughtor and Brown Willy on Bodmin Moor ... a first not coming over the River Tamar into Cornwall from Devon for a long while  ...a road down into Cornwall from Durley with my Mum and sister one December Monday ...

A place called Fraddon via a village called Sladesbridge today, a brief trip to each place. A time too in a supermarket at the top of a town. And then a trip into town itself, for all things festive.

Tomorrow the probability in making a Christmas wreath using left over items donated to the Guides. A bit of baking later on in the week. And I wonder if Santa will find me this year! 

Thatchers

at work on cottage roofs. The once familiar roads altered through places last passed through. The new village built. The really familiar places passed by though foggy on some names. The town and surrounding villages in a town my grandparents resided in the same home all the time I grew up, my mum along with her twin born in that home.... 

A bit of a time with our cousins and visiting all the Aunties in the area, this morning before departing back to Cornwall ... 

The winter hues amazing in this time a travel anew after a big gap of time with walls and ceilings and not much else ... 

Ready

get set ...go and not necessarily in that order ... this really is a strain on me senses ... 'Tis noisy out and my thoughts are not on task in hand. My thoughts since the 13th have been not far from the crystal clear events in pulling off socks and slippers stuck to skin ... and all that that transports with triggers this jingle bell time 

Fragmented to

me but memories of time on a coach from a sister. The time I used to frequent an Auntie on journeys alone.

The await for meeting in a city known to us all. A reunion for me in this large celebratory time ...

Confusional Moments

the hidden anxieties within the physical and vice versa ... the impenetrable of body fat accumulated for reasons only we knew. The reverse in the accumulation of life in crisis. 

The transition of time now for the many silly seasons we have to celebrate glut. 

Transition cross over ...

... the influx of much in what am I doing? The outside still so alien. The every day functions brings reminders all around .... 

The laziness of others. I came back to home after time listening to mouldy bedding thrown, mould, accumulation of belongings in lock ups of the late foster Dad, and landlords leaving homes in a state of disrepair ... 

Up North the posh and the damned areas with talk in much, in little time I had with those up North in the class hierarchy ... the well off, the working class and those who children were taken away ... not because of the one parent ... as such ... 

The foster family, the birth mum, the clients, carers, parents and colleagues... a real mix of social time ... 

Aboard the final leg

... of this confusions journey... I hope? Nearly went Northbound instead of Southbound on the blue tube line by being far away with thoughts 

It is like the sophistication of spoof communications ... one needs focus and attention which is difficult anytime let alone this time of year for me 

Milton Keynes

central last stop  ... now all the way to London Euston ... 4G signal speed coming back hit and miss  journey ... speed of life in approach again ... a few days of apprehension as to when I will be on the move again ...coach at the weekend or train next week?

In the meantime repack and some time to self 

Chimes of Eleven

if schedule runs smoothly...my last chimes to hear here ...

Colour ... scents ...

a spectacle of a festive time ... particularly one Wednesday; a panto in matinee hours followed with an evening meal in Christmas style ...

...two separate outings ... one festive day ... 

We have been to Germany!

All the aromas and approaches for our money for food in distraction 

A Day Trip to

Birmingham 

Crewe view of a supercharger train awaiting at the platform for go ... 

... A Decadent ...

... cake making session ... 

a luxurious first in a daughter's new kitchen ... 

A little too crusty on the outside ... but delicious inside ! 

🍰 🎄 🎂

xxx 

... Mince Pie ...

... with a tipple by a fire and the festive decs, whilst home alone. In an area becoming accustomed to with all the quirks and ways of other regional twists on English food ... and ways ... apiece ... 

Thoughts turn

to how best to use my valuable time after a taster session of time with all spectrums of those that tend to get the wrong labels put on them

They actually experience more than those who are ignorant etc ...

A session

in at the deep in a totally new environment... connecting trust by joining in, the befriending from totally new in a challengingly amazing, a experience other than my hubby today ... the connections through body language and basic makaton .... to those hesitating though taking part ...

Striking conversations about life I knew nought about yet in some time today ... we impacted that precious exchange in a minute part of the weave in time

The touch of others today with their personal exchanges and challenges ... the little time in give to enable those who started this group to get on with behind the scenes challenges whilst we occupied those who either cling on to you or stand well back into the outer skirts in a group environment 

Meet the parents

or today the Mums of our kids met for the first time ...I have been more accustomed to the local  customs as you do. Our daughter is certainly getting the lingo in much too ... 

It is too personal to go into much ... the obvious confidentiality key ... but since both of them have passed their test it has meant getting the birth parents of our daughters young man get out of the home more now ... 

Though keeping it generic ...We have similar dilemmas in social skills ...

the context of what is missing when I met his foster mum ... the dynamics of much in the social care system ... and how much the mannerisms of the foster family is much ingrained in our daughters boyfriend .... though the original family ones never lost ...the how in the kids were drawn through destiny ... very amazing moments in much as always ... 

The chimes in another town ..

..a day in crashing out from the immense overwhelming feelings loss still brings in time forward. The next generation and the see from the past to now in becoming the head on from that paternal line in chapter that pages turn ... 

Illusion into

experience of life not through a lens in surreal ... it is at times difficult to comprehend an end to the past in sightline here ...until I step in the not known fantastical world beyond .... 

The time in

build up ... the kid at a concert in Manchester and I very much had a feel of it thanks to an exciting innovative ways in media... 

A taste and tease in the build up to see them again ! 

I am in

surround of collating items to pack ... the task usually done by now ... although grabbing stuff that time I know what anxious times are if I don't finish tasks ... 

The learn to ease up in time from A-B the more it is done ... 

That 111 and others where those that do not that others do .... This time in tandem with films, cooking, plans, the shopping left to do. The wind down. The tickets to print off. A bit of a pack and off to different times anew ... 

A lot has happened where I have been recently and the area not so for years .... I did book a coach seat to my birth county ...  but could not face yet another funeral ...

leaving ...

behind the memories of mad in December ... one time for time again new and old ... and another county born soon ... ...

And although I will be with others; I will be given much space as a special anniversary approaches for me in others too ...

The Remember that I do the festival of seasons in simple different now ... 

The blessings of seasons ... the special gift of time not always appreciated or approving ... still I do ... 

The embittered twisted soul; I will try not to be ... 

In timely beneficial manner

that I am having time away from the many strands in dilemmas ... a fresh perspective after time in more usual living assists much ... 

A time where hitches happen as proven today ... time taken in someone fitting a system of connecting heat and smoke alarms which was scheduled different to the time in the letter stated ...

And chasing up much in my lack of care continued yet again ... 

Thank goodness I wound down in plenty given in self time ... 

This time in cave

I nearly gave up again ... the focus now on all those excited people at the end of communications with their many and various lives... that carry on ... while I was afloat in no mans land in twight ... 

The delight in others a little more aware of in the air ... but I do tread with care ... the precarious tightrope invisible to all but our daughter ... 

All the rediscovers

in images in days to alternated months to see seasons elsewhere

All the anticipation of plans in meals, outings, Liverpool or Manchester or Birmingham Christmas markets ... time I arrive for picks ups and so forth ... the achievements of others ... time in celebration menus chosen ... 

One could almost forget those shadows that haunt .... with all this in the coming end of year!!  A new start in new procedures ...

Rediscover This Day

2015

All these creepy reminders of what our machines do for us. The terminator films. The more human 'Humans' series. The recent robotics ethics code of conduct upgraded. The fascination in a poignant recovery of seeing such sights in real life again ! 

Dairy in fill

now for me to feel ... I belong nowhere; yet somewhere... I am in life literally afar in other communities with time offered in different strands. I am gaining what I strived for. 

... To pass through seeing in assist among other avenues in life come back ... 

... not just here ... 

Remember

in the wind down ... that on a return one is not overwhelmed with tasks faced in mess in the recesses.  I keep Xmas simple  ... I give to life all year. This season makes no difference. Material things is of mo importance 

When you have lived without much and then too much in extremes of another personality... it opens your being more! 

Induction to the Potteries

how the area in Staffordshire is made up of six towns into Stoke on Trent. The terms of endearment from those friendly people wherever I went in the locality. Up close to all those canals and those that reside on these waterways. 

And once again hearing the word 'Duck' that was used as an endearment greeting ... Where I reside varies but a common one from the young uns these days is 'Babe' ... in Cornwall it's generally 'Maid'..  

Ceylon

and all the world change in name places once thought of and learnt in those school lessons. How the face of this planet has changed. The Mayflower descendants of Richard Gere. Yes, I am coming back in dribs and drabs, the slavery and colonies. The Berlin Wall an example in change since my decade of birth. 

How that millennium was in countdown, came and is now sixteen years ago ... and it is over a hundred years ago since my grandparents were born ... all this came up on the historical artefacts from a box still to receive when my mother in law died. 

We did a lot of local history delving in the family line of my daughters roots ... we were both fascinated ... from just a box of photos, and historical documents of many relatives birth, marriage and death certificates... the common cause of death spooked my daughter ...

and ultimately opened up a world in that family history for a daughter who now has no one to tell her in her own core paternal family line ...

An Italian

meal on the cusp of the Mediterranean Moroccan smells ... I again have travelled far without stepping out ... and the fireworks set off early by passing people .... bringing me back to where I am actually ... 

The unused rail

network ....

The once and still picturesque coves and coast and estuary moors and quarries ...running alongside the Bodmin via Wadebridge to Padstow. That part I know so well ...

Now it is seen in tandem with pedal power and shanks' s pony to see the magnificent views offered up on this estuary

And wrecks too  

The time in

the stride to plan now. It is beyond words at times. The juggle of a change in ticket from train to coach for a celebration .... The change to in the ability to do a little lot in a pencil in diary of a busy daughter. 

And then here a stop before departing virtually starlight away to Kernow via my birth county. The maybe drive down with my family. That will be a first again. Whence once it was the norm ... 

The photos back in seen ...

the combination of silver lined skies and the vivid blue skylines in the brilliance or the dull. The drizzle lashed walks in more miles stepped. The movement in lesser of me along with everything else.

The seasonal colours. And through my lens in nonsensical colours in same. 

The architecture and engineering feats seen again many moons later. 

The thundering along the UK again on the speed in tracks over bridges and viaducts from a city capital to a ancient time gone by and seen better days of Bodmin Parkway platform and its footbridge in Kernow.. 

And so close by the Devonshire coast on the Rivera line in red cliffs and coastal seas and estuaries 

Finally ...

the journeys booked ... with lee way for altered arrangements if need be. The second attempt to get to Southampton?  The remembering to look at the advanced ones going on sale.

A bit of charity taster work. A diamond wedding anniversary. And generally being with others for a sack of time to re energise the declutter batteries!

A busmans break ...

is good like a rest 

Although struggling ... ideas are breaking forth on a new look in much 

The hardest part to put in fruition

My mind always in a messy whirl 

The thoughts on study one day back maybe 

In the meantime the learn in much of everyday hour achievement or not in dredging through the utterly awful to making positive out of the negatives including a town 

From a Hidden History lottery funded filming  project for the youth from a amazing group of youngsters people turned there back on to the current proposed land owners ruining what work they did ... 

A Special Day for me today ...

... a brief time by the river and the Camel Trail ... 

One Tuesday in October ... 

a special day for Mum tomorrow on what would've been Mum and Dads wedding anniversary... A walk up to the cemetery tomorrow together ... 

A special date in December too ... Another Auntie and Uncle who hope to enjoy a Diamond Wedding anniversary this year too. The maternal line this time ... a wider family celebration this time round ... I have been invited to share the day ... along with the usual get togetherness I have not seen in a while ... a lot in catch up ...

I have seen this Auntie since that encumbered tim, on a previous trip to Bluewater on new widowhood when my sister drove her up from Hampshire to share catch up time then ... I used to be back and forth from a lot of places once ... including the West Country and Home Counties ... Oxford and Cambridge... and the beautiful Welsh coast and Brecon Beacons ... 

And again with cousins and others at Dads funeral ... though not in a good frame of mind to catch up that day, preferring to keep myself to myself that particular time ... although I did the usual hugs and kisses with all those not seen in long time ... 

And today too, a lovely hug with a friend today ... 

Whenever one feels low, always round the corner a little bit of sunshine seeps back in ... 

As still as thy

thoughts ... A time in busmans holiday in removal of belongings of the deceased ... a time in Dads workshop one early October ... A still in time of seasons dust lain unused since the carcinogenic time on another's mind ... with some of the silliness of out of character thoughts intermixed in time when memory was brilliant in good ideas ...

Christmas in set up

Monday drop in ... food banks the other side of Christmas where at the moment is Halloween on from Harvest ... the homemade gifts from bounty in nature 

The areas I am getting to see in the seasons since and news from a face book group ... The greed surround in the hard work of stock filling in seasonal change of the twinkling array of adornments ... filling the shops ...

The letting go of much as others bring in much 

Ye olde tearooms

...to have a delicious lunch with a Mum and sister in a Cornish cathedral city. The modern change in and around this visit to Kernow ... And getting to meet two new family additions ... within the paternal line of the family ... 

A time too on walks and explore on my own. The first park and ride. The pilgrimage of time in silent going about this county once young, then as a wife and Mum ... and now in the early widow time ... 

The stunning natural outstanding season of harvest time. The bounty of apples and more. The delicious home cooking of these apples on and in a Rayburn ... The spring clean and house work in easier access, to do such cleaning ...

A long chat with an Auntie in catch up of charitywork, mental health and supported living.

The cloak and dagger in a birthday cake make, made for today's birthday of a sister. The last time we spent her birthday together was at the surreal time of our Dad passing, just prior to this day another time. The another autumnal season. 

The berries ... in red, green and black and a mind all over the place ... 

The tractors, more tractors, the ancient cars, the diversions around Bodmin plenty to get to an ocean city and a National Trust house and gardens. The towns tall, tall monument up on the top of of town touching the sky in misty fog ... overseeing the cycle path extensions to bring together the Camel Trail and Cardinham woods ... 

The rolling mists over fields ... and above the canopies of trees in a touch of less green in green ... 

Deeper and deeper

into areas each revisit ... the natural realignment into life with the unnatural... The float of assumptions in getting about ... The silent inward signs of dilemmas dotty and potty to most ... the fact that a lot in silent dilemmas round and about ... 

The wider journey past of those known taken in life in addictions and life too much that do bring others down with them, or a life taken before they take their own ... 

The eventual time in a town a few and a city or two  ... in repeat ... The skirt through of counties here and Crewe and a tad of a capital city ... 

Chimes in a cathedral city

the time in cobbled roads and alleyways and a sit by the cathedral ... the stunning scenery on the journey there and back. The country side of hills and valleys that meet coast and moor alike 

A place where place in past with other grandeur buildings in other areas, now again in plentiful along with the history past in Ironbridge, Stratford upon Avon ... in history new in Crewe ... 

Further into

a county tomorrow...

A day a Mum noticed the mood drop ... 

I had a gentle soothe in time with feet up and the knitting 

This after dealing with the business of my hatred for certain things done not in bitter bite ... 

The office in mobile

an important letter to print off and post ... The legacy catching up from the stuttering of care cordinator not in situ in 2014 at tax year time ... 

The time in too many people coming and going. And when I knew a Locum coming on board ... silently preparing for the re stutter ... Which indeed for weeks happened again ... The transparency of hospital change type care in overwhelming in the community care... 

When one has lost of communication and gumption never considered when in solitude and solitary times ...it takes time with the en masse of people been since ... 

I am slow in finding a new system for the paper work . The perpetual system in find ... considering my now phobias in silent of papers ... in and from that clutter 

The consideration of some in repeating myself every time a new face came along ... 

How does one find the way to engage ... getting to fast track the way each works ... 

A Breeze in blow

a time in night after more challenges in experience out of comfort in old new familiar ... 

.
.. A Kentish Park in explore off the beaten path ..
... the day before a time in more anew in Kernow .. 

Buxton, Bourneville

and Cheddar ... items for a shopping list or in my thoughts again tonight of the travels to the various places with a hubby long before the ills ...

Cheddar Gorge, the caves and Jacobs ladder up many steps to a watch tower like many towers,  steps and steeples over the years offering a 360 degree view of areas visited and admired ... 

Lanhydrock

Cornwall UK

8,013 steps and 3 flights; the health stats today ...

... One Day ...

... two different towns ... 

Wadebridge

Newquay 

A time in my own mists, and haze ... 

The rolling mists floating across the fields. The many, many tractors of different types. The journey through the varied landscape. The palm trees and tacky tourist shops, in Newquay. The coastal blue and grey of a dull day. The constant drizzle in one town. The dry air of another. And travelling from one to the other the harvest in the fields. the villages, Carvery, pubs and caravan and campsites. 

The runway of Newquay airport. The zoo and the lake. The tour by road of Newquay and the surrounding area my sister took me ... 

for this was another first since that particular crisis that came in my life ... 

Much in more

since arriving ... 

today was a more restful day. The weather literally putting a dampener on any walks. The short car trip to get some shopping. 

A time to potter in tasks ... thanks to those devices in keeping tabs on a life elsewhere ... 

Rainbow

A view of many memories

weather this afternoon .... though no sighting of a rainbow for thee ...

A  clock that still chimes, and keeps the time  ...


Up down, in and around the streets of town,
In hues and blues and brown.
The filters in new of old

The colours of another seasons end,
so bright and bold.
These evenings bend
into nights of cold.

The mind in mists
from those that
work in useless, fruitless lists,
nothing new in that old hat ...

Rigid in views
of therapy in times anew,
After a dear hubby
who himself went blue.

A wet road

trip from Plymouth, Devon. A debut outing in sisters new car. An unexpected one to pick up a certain phone from a certain shop from the ocean city.

A cappuccino in a top floor restaurant with a view. Another time another place that was so normal in many towns and places over the years. This another first in post crisis, after many seasons out the loop. 

Wind in gusts

blowing up in this last hour ... after a day of sunshine rays. The chimes of midnight blowing in these sounds of waves along the passage in carry of time ... 

The hoot

of a owl on the first night in Kernow. 

A transitional day easing in the dreckly life. A riverbank walk. The wildlife. A cormorant sighting. A mooch around town. The purchase of a birthday gift for a sister. A new device getting used to. 

The newly opened traditional sweet shop. The other changes in, and out and outbout. The price of food here. All those things some take for granted.

A real literal breath of a new air in life from crisi to this day ...

An apprehensive

journey from A to B done and taken. The derailment of a train on my other route I tend to take only served to remind be of a derailment on the viaducts crossed on this route ... 

We would certainly fly then. 

The trains thundering along these structures shaking the foundations to the core.  

The folly in my life only heightens what could ... not may ... go wrong? A death in a cold home where the patient had to go out the home to get ulcer care picking up an infection that was finally to kill him? His body no longer able to fight bi lateral Pneumonia...  no one believing how deathly poorly he was until the PM threw up the results ... 

The water cascading down the flat wall from the above flat on the eve of travel one time. The ear infection this time that nearly scuppered these current plans ... does not even touch the surface of the founded worries ... 

Blue sky to grey ...

and very grey skies by the Great Western Rail train journey end one mid week in September ... and the wonder of of it all when I didn't snooze. A handful of photos took, when the train was slower. I was too captivated in awe today. And a little misty teary eye. 

The blue skies diminishing the further in the journey away from the capital city 

A snatch of the stand alone grandeur of age in the making, the scattered trees  in the English  country side one Wednesday 

A blue sky

departure ... And a journey strange familiar to London Paddington... the tube from London Victoria to South Ken well travelled in the past. And consequently South Ken to Paddington.  I have not been to Paddington since before that time .... a few misty tears today ... 

We departed on time ...

A sit by a lake today

the local boating lake ... A wide circuit walk round a local town taking in the memories and going down some painful routes of real familiar ... A walk by places I usually pass by. A real explore like a kid going off the beaten track too, to see where paths led. This being areas not been in a while of connecting the areas I have been recently and not been in a long, long while. 

Familiarise in

much ... The step out of the box. The dreams, the infections, the flummox in find, the bother, the flurries in worries and wonders. The part of another week in abundance in this abode, The thought of travel impeding far away,. The require to get up to speed in plans made and forthcoming ... 

At least time for the ends of the wind down in doing something good maybe tomorrow? The take the edge off the dismal despair to delights delicious that I have attempted in segments of that once joy in the beauty surrounds ... 

Another surreal day

in forthcoming travel ... The mix up of memories... The look for things to pack. Then the realisation it is all in different ... 

And no longer there ... The back to the present and things are not what they seem .... it is good I do the packing ahead of time in with distractions and diversions of life not yet in sync ... 

Although I usually have the seasonal basics on standby, in being so far now, from all close family ... as with Dad you just never know when I'd might have to up and go... 

Now I know ...

... why I prefer Mondays for travelling. The winding down and getting ready over the weekend. I am still not used to the office hour distractions after time encumbered ...

This is a good test on my patience 

This time next Sunday

I may have see an Auntie and some cousins, one of whom not seen in many a year. We will see what this coming week brings. Already a perplexing weekend. And cos I mixed up the routine of travel, I would have missed my train, I had my days of travel muddled. 

I have been travelling on a Monday at times of late. I have been a bit of a silly. I will get through the bulk of life in disorder somehow. I need to do life in function, enough time in lost to comprehend more of those mini series of panics that enter my life from crisis and post crisis now. 

A walk out

just for the girls 

down memory lane between halls and uni 

one last Saturday evening 

followed by a movie ... 

... A pocket of history ...

... quiet of a busy railway town ...  

.. the historical railway cottages; progress built around .... 

A birthday void indulgent ...

Time in a tea room 

A view of a good cuppa with cake 

Time in country and town by car 

View from a car journey

After a Cinema trip

this followed pizza with salad
... My choux pastry balls ... know as  profiteroles

Followed by days in walk ... of walk off ... 

We were rained off this day ... On Sunday it stayed drier for a walk round
... Westport lake ...

Originally planned this walk round for the Friday ... We went to the Cinema instead ...

Friday through

Saturday of showers ... Oblivious to my functions in forray of solutions to such in much ... A daughter notice of skin glow of this break of atypical busman break these summer weeks past. The mandatory mix of much fresher fresh air in health benefits. The mind a tad in a better place not without deep dips of highs and lows.

The skin may have flared up again slowing me down until the antibiotics improved this. The errands, the solutions while away from the situation. The exploration in tantisilising the senses with atmospheric experiences and explore of cuisine, beverages, images in environment of a lot different.

The rains ...

again ... Already a full day with rest ... the search still for a bargain or solution for the home assistsance in advice ... the damp proofing due to start originally as I leave, put back a week. The person given the business arriving back from their hols with all that brings ...

My advice was sought ... It is best to adapt the diary ... a better job would be done ... the wisdom of characters and how life reacts around you ... 

Use the situation ... Fate and destiny in hand too ... that we have had in abundance with all the experience on this busman trip of a difference... 

Dress in design

...a long peaceful shower of a long birthday weekend void of a now early deceased hubby. The young ones entertaining me from wake to sleep one August Friday from that bleak Friday one December day during those festivities  ... 

The peaceful hours of a Saturday mourn in spirit of the continuation of the best life can be made ... a light breakfast after indulging in these summer meals recent ... in minute amounts at times on those days the appetite dips in pain and anguish in these most enchanting times yet ... 

A county new ... parts now known to me ... Crewe and Bathpool areas bleak. The look enticement in the images ... the magic spiritual silence within of times bleak. The fantastical milliseconds in teenage years of a new life living. And now with a tad of plan in process too ... 

Another day through ...

much in environment void. The thoughts in the next set of challenges ... 

The tears are

dripping from the sky today on one of the many specials days now in void ... a leisurely day of whim ... A trip to Nantwich for another quintessential English time with an orient twist of this UK time  crossing counties on from the time in seasons lost in to once again travelling in trepidation this time round to pastures new 

... Treasured in time ...

the glad in sad ... reflections in walks similar for the two now. A birthday week into the day with a difference, in a completely new area. 

The span of life with family. 

The conduit of emotions in a meal this evening, in memory of a loved one through decades in similar but never the same without ... while life moves  This quiet in the core of thyself ...

The discord in the harmony ... 

Last Evening

In Staffordshire

Bathpool Park ... Summer 2016

Time for a Mum and daughter in time on the eve of eve of change ... 

Staffordshire

... just inside from Cheshire today ... the span of borders many ... another visit to Bathpool Park this evening after a day different to plans. Afternoon tea was postponed ... the varied mixture of life once in knew ... in time from the busman part of this trip to the North of Englamd ... 

• Breakfast beautiful in a pub 
• Brunch late one morning 
• Plough mans lunch yet to be?  
• Shandy ... not tasted from the pump in a while ... 
• Afternoon tea postponed today 
• Sunday Roast ... in a Carvery ...  
• Walks by some form water .. a river, a pool 
• Parkland in colour and gleam 
• Avenues trees in many 
• Cinema ... Finding Dory one birthday Friday 
• Strolls in seldom seen friendly moments ... The crisp colours in summer days 
• Pub food ... The cheesecake an highlight 
• Italian ... A delicious risotto 
• Portuguese one weekend day ... One of those sharing meals 
• Sweet potato fries 
• Indian on test pass day ... Tantalisingly gorgeous 
• A visit to a Tea Room exceptional in outstanding ... 
• Errands made daily in this new area finding the picture in the pieces in past visits 
• Shopping with a daughter for a new home
• The decor colour choice of this new old home 
• Coffee shops in many 
• Up down inside out of a house to home ... decor and stitch in create 
• Sitting out for time in a garden listening to sounds surreal 
• And the strangest of all ... seeing the misty moon in night skies from the many road trips taken since the start of August ... 

The sitting in a car. The music blasting. The windows open. Parking, three point turns or nine. The whizz along lanes so like Kernow. The sensation of travelling in a car next to a daughter, the first and last time of my immediate kin in both the same colour. 

It is like did I ever leave the world away in dismal times doing all this experiences once again ... 

The span across ...

those balmy summer days in the months of July and August. Our once birthday months. Now for the single in time. This I have spent in much experience again of things we can take for granted. 

For me no ... I have soaked up the atmosphere in the mourn of raw in such enchanting times again. Those days I thought I would not feel on the skin, see the abundance of summer in colour, the greens from Spring into Autumnal. The aromas. The textures. The inner sanctum of getting dirty in good. The decor renovation in simple and struggle. 

This the new abode ... another generation ... highly atypical wishes of one though another ... 

The kitchen that is too far gone to spruce up. The bathroom in near perfection. One bedroom managed to achieve while on antibiotics for the irritating skin ruined by darkness in dank. 

This time in gift to a daughter, in unusual circumstances of making sure that if this is the one for her ... that he is never homeless again ... until end days if the unimaginable at the moment happens ... In this interim period of how life is never in timeline ... the arrangements in the making ... 

The wishes of a family in the passing on ... 

While I currently continue in vastly reducing. The next generation carries the baton of a legacy from a tad of mine to setting up home

 up the North ... 

My plans still to decide in what type of accommodation I wish to live in ... lots of options once the burden of stuff removed to a manageable level in the South West of England or an isle or ...?

A more restful August

mourn with sparkles of life drifting in my existence ... the hopes to achieve more of the elbow grease in a beautiful listed building of historical interest, in that exciting time of setting up a love nest ... that is how it put on the opposite kitchen sink window to our daughters with a window sign stating the fact ... though  our daughter's is from a situation lot in different. This much amusement to us for it is hard for those used to other situations, to believe in. These moments a lot to comprehend. The fact we are in catch up time. The fact I was here and in a car the very day her driving test pass. Treasured precious tines for us.

To those around it looks like rich kids sent to uni and able to do much. When in fact it is not all it seems. This when general housing needs stock was sold off bang in the middle of those that wish to buy or not ... making more segregation..  

 ... first some time outside to improve the skin... I am keeping an eye on my hand flare up ... The skin reminiscent of that other time ... 

I am assisting too in teaching the kid how to address the window shades ... The blinds are still up from the previous occupier... just about ... With the young children due to visit some of the cords are dangerous ... so too the sliding sash windows, upstairs.These are the quintessential features of the architects design for these now listed abodes ... 

Another Special

first in time with my family this summer August evening ... a day spent amusing myself until the end of the working day ... meeting up to get a trolley load of goodies for the home followed by a meal out of traditional treats with a twist ...

And amusing my daughter seeing me with another man, in a rescue from a chat up line into the inner depths of loneliness in a conversation, I like many others have seen in all walks of life ... in my stand back from life time while coming to terms with much  ... although in my girl guide moments onwards it is always there in life ... 

This time in tangem

the start in a new old home 

this trip in busman style by train through waves of culture. The bare skin of ours. The veils and hair covers. The modern in traditional. The real authentic Amish ... 

I arrive to Polish, Italian, Mexican, Portuguese to name a few. I converse in basic Spanish with a daughter while she was travelling through more arid lands with lemon trees. 

And I am still in my beautiful England. 

A much easier day

all round ... tomorrow is design plan decisions on the kitchen ... for the young ones ... despite the fact we were out of the kitchen when it was commodered by the unnecessary... one child knows very much what is required for her needs ... 

Road trips to

... removal of items ... the ability to do so once, twice, thrice again ...

and more aspiring table top creation ideas incorporating other ideas ... a legacy due as in much the decisions many coming into fruitful slow conclusions in time ... 

... still load in burden to process in scars to less streams and rivers into oceans of emotions ... 

A life alter

trip to assist a child ... I will hope to go back enlightened to a more foreseeable and favourable future since I lost so much in a tipsy topsy wibbly wobbly muddle in much 

one week in own

time in a town not yet familiar until now ... the limited time in a area at first of a daughters choice in uni ... 

The decision to settle here ... the volunteer ops from a uni for a buddy charity leading in a career direction change showing an appitude for it ... in September with the kids back at school ... the work in the adult section with more flourish and now with a car ...opens up more doors to try ... 

This time in satisfaction of passing on skills now we have movement back in our lives ... a lot of catch up from lost time ... 

The most settled

I have been ... although the acoustics here take some getting used to ... I have become accustomed to going along to bed in my ground floor flat ... not in rooms above the day quarters  ...  

The stairs a good method of lost exercise... 

Time not encumbered

with the works on home improvements... these particular works negotiated in the price of the house.  The necessary survey to lessen the shock of what is found hidden beyond the eye. 

I use the time wisely in keeping out the way of all access areas of works. The other home crafts taught by school, family, friends and self in the stitch crafts keeping me occupied. The stage nearer of carrying a project about with me again while waiting out and about. 

I find it easier to write and use the lens out at the minute ... than faff about with a craft bag as standard thrown in the car. The car no longer there.  

A busmans travel

back to past in a real blast in a county again further up in England ... a surreal time in is it happening ... ? After functions in movement limited  ...

We and I have washed down, cleaned, sanitised, scrubbed, sanded, in receipt of, shopped, painted, cleared away, a bit of gardening, fixed in solutions, cleaning, painting, my once again in use stain removal recipes, selected my ways of doing in along with some request of what I can do with the time I have given ...  

I have sewn, crocheted and knitted my way through in gift of time ... too 

I have done the usual exploring, wondering where in the world I am, what an I doing with moments in images and words ...

I have blogged, shared moments private and public ... I have even spoken to nurses over the communications systems and visited the local hospital to see a doctor to check out an infection in the skin ... 

This the reciprocal recovery in times after unimaginable events 

An abode ...

bikes and a car in transit of a house sit coming to an end ... entering the penultimate day of home alone ... the fact a car key is on my keys ... in another time and place I would have been driving the car ... as it is ... 

... life is not what it was ... although I have done things I thought I never bother with again ... Washing down ... Painting and a time in a garden and yes someone came up to me and asked directions ... whilst I was out in that garden ... 

Each day of the immediate

locality of Crewe the dots are connecting to places to and from halls, the student home and now here ... 

The retail park, the Italian restaurant we had a meal at graduation last year ... The many superstores and other smaller retail chains making it similar in familiar ... The uniforms having their smoke outside ...  Just like any area ... 

The pokestops now trending. That is so handy when using maps. The bonus of not looking lost, you could be playing that game now.

The trips further afield on my own here not happening at the minute. The breakfast out and a cinema trip could still happen if I am comfortable in all aspects. 

I am now looking at the immediate locality for a walk explore. 

An unexpected trip ...

in that out of hours jaunt at the weekend gave me a glimpse of a part of Crewe not seen ... It still amazes me it is so like another well known railway town near Southampton... 

It was through the journey taken on the bus route passed derelict shops and pubs and the mazes of roads with those familiar houses from my own childhood ... staying with family annually in our birth county. 

The hospital which was my destination on this occasion that was busy in quiet. Outside it looked liked no one was about. On entering it was subtle in the workings of 24/7 hidden in the depths those who do those hours seeing patients in the constant stream of arriving that does not switch off when we clock off ... 

The porters with those poorly ... The paramedics handing over ... The frustrated patient who might as well go home and me completely unsure of where I was supposed to be ... 

I went home on the very same bus I arrived in, with the same bus driver. The urbaness of a major railway connect town in this part of town looking like it didn't belong with the red of it  ... The quiet in a busy bustling area ... 

Out of hours

with one an hour bus 

Someone was watching out for me in my late morning appointment to a doctor on a Sunday morning. The bus leaving Crewe bus station which fortunately is just across the road from here for a start, at 11:11 and arrives at 11:22 for an 11:3O slot. I was seen within the hour and able to hobble back on the connection time in the return hour without too long a wait. 

How fortuitous... 

Unlikely to get out

to Liverpool for now ... I had a struggle of a Saturday night to get comfy with a problematic leg twas concerned about. Again it is fortuitous to have the 111 service ... 

I was warned the doctors were hard to get an appointment. Therefore I was refused a home visit and instead of getting in an altercation that it could be my end of life in that time ... hobbled into the appointment I took the next day not wanting to go out late in the evening. It is assumed you have someone and you drive. I got on a the usual one an hour bus ... If I had had a problem on the way ... I would have called 999 or hope a good person would assist as the many times since that bad time in my own recovery. My many mishaps that happened out and whem people came to my aid then ... One time when someone helped with my serious thumb injury not batting an eye at all my blood dripping  ... 

Plans afoot

another dawn happening 

I pushed the makeshift boundaries in time in a new abode in enjoying the usual stress time in time into a recovery time in the usual running of a home to us 

I am in the back bedroom which might become their room. I rearranged the room from enclosed to space ... while I am able to. They helped me move the bed to my arrangement. This to feel comfortable. I am near the window. I can pull up the blinds and adjust the window without getting out of bed ... 

The sliding sash windows a safety issue. We love them. 

A shower, some washing on and out on the makeshift line. Another day pottering in and out a new abode set up in a town I am gradually falling in love with ... Our girl did good ... a choice really well done ... 

This busman hol a great step in rediscovering life beyond Kent again...