April Fool

an unexpected early operation, the planned trips for April now flourishing with the countdown from others in anticipation of time together. The various parts of the West Country where we will spend time with those also widowed ... 

My daughter will be with those who live in one estuary area. I will be further down on, and in another estuary area getting lungs full of coastal air to enjoy ... 

The jostle on the transport will be telling on the tender parts, still recovering from a pesky bug. 

The sign off of all the documentation to do just a tad in an environment alien, but similar to the past so long away from it all ... The readjustment and realignment in where was I in all of that part of life too ! Where it is such a disdainful time to back to where life stood among before the rocky path it took me upon and off the trail  ... 

Into the April of

a daughter's original plans where we recently had a road trip of the first kind with her in the driving seat ... we never thought I would be on that very first journey ... before the planned one to the same destination ...this coming month ... 

...Just as I happened to be around in person on the day of her passing her driving test ... where she now resides ... it seems pre determined which is not lost on our daughter ... 

Plans afoot ...

... for time with kin... the jest and quips on being put through my paces ... for now the peace reigns in the inner turmoils ... until I'm spooked at the most inopportune milliseconds ... 

The not listening

or lazy lax bother ... the kin alike of a daughter and a sister ... who again ask 'what are the dates?'  ... The source of me to search. my already sent details ... The preps South Westerly this time ... and again a bit further down ... 

And in the meantime the Rediscover this day photos of the time in the days leading up of this time with the images of last year in that area ... a reminder of the memories now more fascinating again ...

And one photo of a building site now, not a field with views ... the continual weave of change ... 

The take off ...

the fight or flight mode on a return to the ramshackle space .... The pure ironies in much. However, I am still resisting the urge for a bit of a Greek time of it ... the flight to boil (along with the ills of confusions that comes in times) or freeze burn ... and glad a part of my mind feels free to say what is in part going on with it ... even whether the thought that I am talking about it means to others more a cry for help than actually ... do I want to feel this *******for the rest of my days and will it ever cease in ease or vice versa ... ? 

That happened many a time cos I am not a conventional being in the training of such or using logic ... outside of the training box ...

Absolutely no one can even understand what happened in those darkest times that led to so much beyond death ... in my own circle it has not happened on that scale ... 

And then in the next time the panick in is it happening to me, like it did me hubby, albeit in a different set of personal to me recent bad dose of an infection on the airways ... and something still so bothersome I took my own logical advice to rest up then go to the docs ... after the jostling in getting home yesterday... 

Finally the feet are

settled in the abode ... not wrot much while away ... the deep stirrings of anger never far away ... a simple solution averted again... the muster in resourceful strength and making plans through other doors ... 

Home James ...

... a swift removal in business mode to work through the cumbersome mountain of others and the traits marked on me ... and before I have even taken off the fooot wear ... 

Here we go go with those that don't heed or under

A trip to the docs to see what wrong with why I have a pain ... working through the strong threshold of misdiagnosed and mis understanding 

Early arrival at ...

... Euston and down deep into the underground, sparse in people for once. A mid week trip back across train country ... now awaiting departure at London Victoria.... a space for luggage and a seat for once ... ! 

The plans now

fully underway to book a cottage on a beach for the time making up I am ready to attempt a start to explore new places with support of me tagging along in a family group again ... 

The pick up where we left off. The travel on without a loving husband in what we would have done anyways ... 

The winds blow South

Easterly to the forgotten, fruitless task of disintegration... 

For now a coo of a wood pigeon ... a sunny day bright. The thankless task of rattling round life back ... the zillion ant-like activity on this planet here ... one tiny grain of life ... 

Toilets ... compact home

and the body mass to fit ... the suddenness out of the corner of visions. Plans past present and presuming to come ... a day of all including in stitches, in rage and in tears ... 

A special time in

Mums Day stroke Thanks surprise today ... which was a luxury ... now for the wind up of another special day with plans to rent a cottage to a new place for all of us !

The snub of a

... hamster for leaving him a while  ... and for me finally getting back to bed ... the arrivals back home from a rather wet end to a Spanish time, later than forecasted,  The wooden hill of twelve steps .... Twelve steps more than I have for none. 

And a repition of these stairs tonight, for I gas already retired to bed, once. I will be to my own devices now until the evening meal. The ships that did not pass one night! 

Up to thy

elbows in the cooking dust of baking ... goodies to be eaten by the returning travellers landing back in England this evening ... 

A shortened holiday from the original ... 

A satisfactory afternoon time a tad in a kitchen baking in the North West of England ... A cooking session if filmed would show the true nature of time. The pan of boiling water nearly dropped... The oven gloves still too new in stiff for the older hands ... a sloppier time than shown on TV ... 

Reflective Restoration

out of situ. A time to just get on with looking out for a hamster ... my first ever ... my family not one for caged animals ... we had dogs .. although a period of time without one, when one we saw killed on a treacherous road, in front of us for not obeying Mums commands ... this when we lived in s village ... it is now bypassed the emmets missing the village ... the bus still runs through it ... a photo posted a while back now .. 

We were taken to neighbours that tragic day, which Mum still hears from to this day ... she must be in her nineties now .., 

Would it not

be good if humans only had what a hamster had even in a three tier lift ... I could move tomorrow !!!! 

A home clean

for a hamster ... he moved into a three tier loft space prior to my arriving ... more housework to do!

The ocean in wrong ....

tis completely opposite ... Spain is not on the Atlantic... however across the channel and on the Meditterrian ... 

Our daughter spending the weekend in a different part of Spain for the first time .... skyscrapers mountains and coastal scenes as views ... the diverse coastal regions of settlements built for the tourist industry .... 

A glorious sky blue

day only I am stuck inside knackered ... The events finally catching up. A duvet type day. 

Dramatic skies

amore ... photos crossing the Atlantic presently ... the clouds from above and a Spain sunset ... the ones I send from here ... the dawn of day in a Cheshire town ... 

The occupy in

some aims set ... the rest from the travels and being under the weather gets so much. I feel back at peace a tad. I have finished bedding in and now ready for some evenings entertainment... after the days in pottering. 

I will be seeking for some more restorative nights. I will then see whether I am strong enough to do the original explore local ....here !? 

Deep Heat, Pain Killers,

many nose bleeds, a funeral and a Bon voyage later ... I am now back on me tod !

In among others belongings and decor. I have settled myself in. I hope to further the baking skills while I am here. I have a meal and shopping plan for the next few days. I am staying local for now. I adjusted the schedule after a very bad bug made me hurt myself.

And I had a bang on the head. The items on the floor more than the counter. The grit and determination sets in to achieve ... 

One birthday One Funeral

and many people later .... back to some time to conclude the plans in a railway town ... the Bon voyage and some valued time in respite ... with myself and I ...

The morrow in settling in and washing Dads dressing gown my daughter had, to snuggle into of an evening here ... the start of tasks to rest up a bit after these last few days of travel weary journeys once again ... 

New Noises ...

and environment... the swish swish of cars along a road ... in another county again... not been too good, a time in need of restoration to recover from this latest attempt at a journey, my sister knows of in bundles ... 

Back to the South West

after a breakfast at The Gaffers Row ... a very bad night ... dosed myself up with the necessary medication and silently grunting the way through the fog of much ... 

The conclusion of the

Segment of life ... a complete and utter waste of my time again ... I will not be giving  any stars to the mental health service ... a load of toss. 

They can get get away with turning it back on the patients ... at least I was understood at my last meeting at another agency I had to attend on my own ... having no one to escort me from the family or the other with not being reassigned a CC again ... 

They just flirt in front of patients among themselves while you stand waiting. They are either that or busy multitasking on phones, answering door buzzers other than you say standing there ... 

The stained carpet not changed in years from the popular leaks in buildings ... and again a floor at the other agency had a deep stain ... 

No wonder no one thought our place needed cleaning up by the initial contact person for hubby ... 

Be Prepared

... the days long from a Brownie. The guiding movement motto.

All the goodies in case in the middle of nowhere like medication and refreshments ... on a road journey or public transport. Although on a train with the restaurant carriage they dole out free refreshments when stuck on a carriage an unnecessarily long time. 

We are packing up today. I will be using my portable packable rucksack for the overnight stay. I always pack this to use for shopping and picnics at my destination.  Even though I am in a car ... the bare minimum will still be taken ... 

Very much rested

in a tad of time. The meals done the last two days for me. The soup lunch yesterday I just had to heat up, while they were at work. They are both now on leave. 

The perpetual puzzle of putting back a life, on hold a while. 

I am just enjoying life at whim and a little in plan. A day today changed from saying Bon Voyage to the two of them to a shared road trip approaching for a funeral. 

A day where it will be shared in chilling out, getting ready, and I will wander off to explore, no doubt ... 

I have already been up a while ... making the most of this different time ... 

A long meander ...

... the hourly chimes ... the hope to have a late morning shower, this after a rest up in preparation for a walk out ...

I had breakfast with the young ones before they set off for work. It is for me and myself to do what is pleasing,

A few household tips and just the functions on this particular trip. This time it is expected for a chill and an adventure in explore. Though the trip to Spain tomorrow for them postponed until Tues ... a trip to the West Country to pay our respects to a Uncle ... I had planned to do a day trip to Wales. With that and being a little worse for wear, the explore nearer here with walks with the requisite public transport links in consideration ...

Or just locality trips out and crafting ... there is plenty to search online for interests ...local 

Chimes of Elevem

A day end exposed to the outside world of others in environments still not completely au fait with. A close of a day of much on the senses, the bewildering array of social antics and trying to understand how not understood but understood even in a busy city hub 

Settling in

after I was picked me up from the end of of a speedy train journey, dropped off to a home for a while, made me a brew, then they disappeared on to work ... 

I am now sat on me bot. I am watching the very inevitable wine making in England featuring the vine yard I have taken much interest in on the Camel valley ... hand in hand in the Kernow Estuary we know so well ... 

The conflicts of alcohol well known within the inner circle .... very sensitive to my known factions 

The experience of

leaving more in ease one way. The walk out the door and not a clamber. 

The deep breathe to deal with what already came upon on a train journey taken so far  And needing your wits about you. The men not courteous today ...  barging past, getting in the middle of me and the luggage. 

How did I do London once the speed of rush, rush, rush, 

The escalator down from Euston not working ... next Monday the toilet facilities closed at Euston for a revamp. And the train services terminating at Runcorn. A bus service to Liverpool Lime Street. The repairs in process to restore a collapsed tunnel collapsed ... 

At least I booked in advance a seat I liked ... you get to know how to do this. It is very pleasant looking out on a world of wonder in canals and the barge homes. The green, green landscape synonymous withEngland in the U.K. 

And the speed and tilt of the Pandolino trains is wobbling the keyboard or my hand I should say! I still can't believe the few more miles speed on trains these days on some routes ... 

It is still antiquated from London Paddington to Kernow .. but not this one to the North ..  

An arrest ...

and search while awaiting transportation for this person at a station while I await the train ... a really busy Thursday am in commuter land